Some of the information below may be triggering for survivors of abuse - Perhaps you can get someone to read through it with you
NOTE: These guidelines are simply an attempt to outline some of the issues involved in offering support, so that people can consider them in relation to their own situation involving a survivor of some form of ‘cult ritual abuse’ or ‘mind control’. They are not categoric or comprehensive, and the author/s will accept no claim of any kind regarding them. Each person is deemed to be responsible for themselves and their actions.
For anyone supporting in some way a survivor of ‘cult ritual abuse’ or some form of ‘mind control’, whether or not there is an apparent ‘satanic’ element, only you can tell where/how to draw the line over difficult, changeable, demanding circumstances and behaviour.
If one tends to believe in the validity or possibility of just one-quarter of what the survivor is going through, one may give of oneself until there is hardly anything left. Be careful, because that may be what the perpetrators want, or what the survivor has been conditioned to do - to you or to anyone who tries to help. That conditioning could go back many, many years, or it may be actively encouraged now if the survivor is thought to be revealing ‘cult secrets’.
It is always difficult to know whether or not to involve the Police or other agency in situations which appear to threaten someone’s safety, or would be downright illegal. It seems one of the problems is that people with a tendency to dissociate may find they simply do not remember something when it’s required of them. They may actively deny that something like this could possibly have happened to them, or that they know anything about a particular issue, even when you have their written account or they said they wanted to expose it. They may prefer to categorise a bad experience as if it were really a nightmare or bad dream.
A survivor, who has been somehow traumatised and confused throughout much of their lives may even turn against you, or allege that you are the person who put such ideas into their head in the first place. Another possibility is that the survivor is still, knowingly or unknowingly, in contact with key perpetrator/s, and being given instructions to find your ‘weakest link’ or anything that could be used to denigrate you, or to stop you helping this person or anyone else in need. While desperately needing help and support, some seem also to have an innate information-gathering agenda, about one’s personal life, one’s contacts, organisations one may be involved with, or simply any support person or organisation which could then become a target for cult attention or harassment. They may test the support system, with a view to bringing it – or you – down in some way. They play people and concepts against each other in any way they can, leading to a ‘Heads they win, tails you lose’ situation, or call it a double-bind where you think there’s no crack or cranny even to peep through.
Some survivors have an extremely complex system of sub-personalities or alters, with many and varied needs. This can be very difficult to understand or to deal with. You may find yourself being pulled from pillar to post helping out day after day, only to be told that you have been unavailable to help for days or weeks.
Please bear in mind that survivors, or certain alter parts, may need time away from you, however helpful you have been or could be to them in future. They may even have an overwhelming need at times, to return to the cult or to abusive circumstances or perpetrators. This may feel a much easier option for them. The part of the personality whom you have grown to know, like, and respect for themselves, is not likely to be the only active part of the personality all of the time. (Most human beings are like this to some extent, so it is not exclusive to people who dissociate.) See if you can engage with other parts of the personality of the survivor, however difficult you may find that. You may be able to negotiate to a degree, or to learn information otherwise not available to you. However, I do not suggest that you manipulate the personalities too much. This is what the cults and perpetrators do.
For the most part, the survivor has his/her/their own ways of dealing with things and getting through to live another day. This does not mean you have to put up with any and every behaviour, and you can be quite firm at times; in fact you may need to be. You can ask if certain alters are available or wanting to talk, and you can stipulate that you personally prefer to engage with the survivor or any parts on certain conditions. You can make it up as you go along, negotiating between you where that seems advisable or is possible. The survivor needs to maintain and expand survival skills in the general world, as well as their own.
Cults may encourage self-harm or suicide in members or ex-members. This means that the survivor is not necessarily acting of their own free-will if they feel the need to harm themselves, but more as a response to some social or specific psychological conditioning. Cults seem to want the survivor to solve things for them, by ‘dropping out of life’ altogether (which one could actually look at as a remote form of murder). An alternative is for the survivor to be institutionalised in a mental hospital, or involved in some way in the mental health system. In that way, the cult can claim that the person is mentally unstable, probably always has been, and that therefore (by inference) anything the survivor says is due to his/her instability or ‘psychosis’. If people take this line with you over anyone, watch out for possible hidden agendas.
Bear in mind that situations are very fluid, and cults or perpetrators can change their plan of action, so that whatever theory or basis one is working on may become invalidated overnight. They may be in contact with part/s of your survivor’s psychological system, giving them instructions to do something such as harming themselves, or they may instruct the survivor that whenever a supporter says ‘No’ to them, it will feel like a physical stab to their heart. Instructions can be induced or reinforced via a complex triggering system of association of ideas, often appearing in emails or via ordinary mail, or a brief telephone message with perhaps just a tone or some clicks.
If you sense any kind of threat to yourself personally, make sure that someone else knows about it, and convey to the survivor that you are no real threat to the cult or any individuals involved. If you are contacted by cult members, keep all copies of communications between you, plus a note of dates and circumstances. This will help you to keep track of the dynamics and work on options to follow. Some cult members may even try to flatter or befriend you, or else behave as if they are a member of some support organisation for survivors.
Cult organisers or perpetrators can and do make mistakes, and you may be able to demonstrate this with a little thought and note-taking. At least you will know what happened - for your own peace of mind, and for how best to proceed with or on behalf of a survivor of such types of experience.
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Note: You may have arrived on this part of the Blog from another site so the following may help to find your way around. There are 10 pages here, each with 4 articles. The first 4 pages consist of an Introduction and lead-in to subjects relating to ritual abuse on the next 3 pages:
- INTRODUCTION
- Beliefs that come and go
- Symbols, realities, the unseen
- Shamanism
- Ritual abuse - see the trigger warning
- Urban legend and ritual abuse
- Booklist
- Other postings and links
- Groups, cults, indoctrination, exiting
- Supporting a survivor of cult ritual abuse
- Dissociation or DID
- A garden analogy of personality
- Social dynamics of cult or satanic ritual abuse
- More dynamics, by Magentine
- Other or better models for DID, MPD?
- Fantasy role-playing
. . . . .
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